Distractions
I lose my internal mind every time I read a newsletter that begins with a prostrate religious sect apology about not writing enough. “Sorry I haven’t been keeping up to date, life got in the way! If you want to unsubscribe and leave a note about how awful I am, feel free to do so!” And then it turns out life is crippling depression, job loss, a house fire, bereavement, or huge personal and professional pressure during that time we all washed bananas and oat milk cartons. A friend asked me how my writing was getting on over the past two years and I was all hmmmmmmmm signal gone I’m going through a train tunnel.
I’ve sat down to write a few times since January, but the world got in the way. We’re 9, 10, I dunno weeks into the year and there has been so much sadness already. Violence, awfulness. Last week I read the words of the victims of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in TIME: “I am now 92 years old. I pray everyday that my grandchildren and great-grandchildren spend their entire lives knowing only peace.” What can I add to that? Nothing, just hope and quiet, desperate prayers.
I have numbed worry with the following:
1.
I did not watch the original Vikings show. I saw a reconstructed longboat on a school tour when I was 14, I was fine. But my sister told me the builder slash architect lad in Sandition (very underrated period drama about town planning!) had moved over to the sequel show Vikings: Valhalla and he is a handsome man so I was like okay I’ll watch an episode. Turns out the show is full of rides. Like the cup of tea is gone cold because I’m concentrating rides. You have to concentrate because not only are they all very good looking, they also all look the same so it gets confusing. Grand television designed for armchair perverts.
2.
The Bone Flute by Lisa Tuttle is a short story with a filthy title but oh my god it is beautiful. Science fiction, has some controversy attached to it which the author contextualises in a post-script, a tale about selfish men, a woman who works in logistics falling in love with an artist and being hit with the impossible (hiya Station Eleven). I adored it. I can’t wait to reread it on a leached to just grey and blue rainy day.
3.
"This is about more than bricks and mortar, it's ultimately about the growth of our souls," he said, looking out over their crumbling gravestones, all facing east towards their motherland. "Finding the ship has finally validated our truth." The growth of our souls, what a beautiful phrase. Read ‘The last known ship of the US slave trade’.
4.
Considering Claire Keegan’s recent book, Small Things Like These, has a lot about the price of fuel, surely someone could make a 75-minute movie of it for the latest Strange Times In Which We Live. Gorgeous book. Read before Christmas. Underlined the whole thing.
5.
Made this spiced aubergine dip last weekend. A hit.
6.