Edward Norton's accent in The Painted Veil

I can't handle the humidity.

I caught the Eddie Norton episode of Inside the Actors Studio a few years ago and at one stage, James Lipton asks Ned what’s the saddest sound. The Primal Fear - not Fight Club - star replies: “The sound of a baby crying.” Or something like that. My face when I heard.

Ask me that same question Jimmy and I will tell you the saddest sound is the sound of male laughter at a Jim Jarmusch movie screening. I went to see the zombie movie last night in Cineworld and the audience left me pondering about sexuality not being a choice. The movie wasn’t good and it provoked that class of laughter sunk with knowingness, an audible signal of “I got that” at the fourth wall bits. I walked home, past children banging a sweeping brush at a church’s walls, simmering about that sound.

Anyway, this is your summer culture broadcast. Don’t bother with The Dead Don’t Die. Tell me when someone writes something about how Selena Gomez’s character is portrayed and treated in the movie though. I’m interested in that and not much else.

You will be much better served by seeking out prime Edward Norton mid-noughties content like The Painted Veil, a movie which deleted the scenes featuring Sally Hawkins and features my favourite jaysus-he-takes-himself-so-serious Eddie performance. He has a full-on English Atonement accent and deploys it for about two hours to imply the adulterous Naomi Watts is a distracted slut but she’s his distracted slut. The movie also tackles a cholera epidemic - a perfect plot spoke. Another great romantic movie about cholera? The Horseman on the Roof. What a sub-genre! Maybe I should actually read Love in the Time of Cholera.

Anyway, the movie I saw last night bothered me. And the chaser I watched on Netflix - After - was also bad. Its only redeeming quality is Selma Blair got paid. I enjoyed Spiderman last week though. Cried at Apollo 11 earlier this week. Thought Anna showcased why Bogart’s advice to Bacall to stop walking like a model into scenes and to start walking into scenes like an actress, as if she's coming from somewhere else, is such great advice.

Why so many movies? Well, that’s how I’m coping with the humidity - I’m retreating indoors, and retaining my water away from the bloated outdoors air. Is it the pill? Is it climate change? All I know is that when I’m at the cinema I can ignore my phone and stop writing texts about feeling horrendous in the heat. Still have to see Midsommar though.