Flakey

I'm starting to understand what blockchain is. Maybe.

Welcome to the first edition of Jeanne Reflects on her Google Search History. This morning I came across a blockchain dating app called Luna. Its tagline is ‘optimized dating’. I think I know what optimized means, but because I like to think I still have a soul I’m not going to think about what it means in this context. If the cavemen and cavewomen managed to get us this far, I think the old ways are reliable and fine.

I scrolled up the Luna website - it’s up, not down! Moons have wacky gravity. - and two features that gave me pause was the short explanation of how blockchain prevents fake profiles and catfishing, and the anti-flake stake. On that latter point, the website copy reads: “Users can stake Stars when making offline plans, and lose their deposits if they don't show up.” So, you get fined for being a flake! I told my friend Kate and she replied, “black mirror”.

Rating people via web applications isn’t new. Remember every adult collectively losing their shit at Rate My Teachers? I operate a MailChimp and from the user end I can see who is a ‘good’ newsletter reader and who doesn’t give a damn. I’m fairly sure taxi drivers give me a bad rating. My sister’s TripAdvisor and Yelp reviews are something I would genuinely pay to see read live in a small theatre.

However, mildly punishing people for flakiness is like getting what you wished for but then realising maybe you’re the monster. I think. My aforementioned sister is a fan of that Death Note series and I caught the last episode. That was the gist. As I get older - well, as I approach 30 - I’m not too bothered about cancelled plans. Someone might be juggling a baby, a sick relative, or an illness. Or all three. They might be tired. They might hate their job and want to go home and cry and watch teenagers fall dramatically in love on Netflix. Maybe they’re just not in the mood to see you. I’m a reverse emotional poultice at the moment. You’re well within your rights to imagine your mother into visiting if you don’t want to listen to me babble over the second cheapest carafe about destiny and ambitious plans, which we both know I won’t get across the line.

If you’re not convinced to forgive flakiness, that’s fine too. You may have been singed repeatedly by a platonic succubus pal. Perhaps you’ve waited in the cold outside venues for the ticket holder to arrive 30 seconds before curtains up. You didn’t get that house wine you needed into you. Opportunities a sliver of your heart thirsted for could have passed you by while you waited on a reply to that blue tick seen hours ago message. If so, this Lynn Enright article from 2015 might be best chapped lip balm you read this week.

If you want to read more about blockchain and how it helps people, this article from the New Yorker last year has retained some of my brain space nearly 12 months on.

Goodbye, have a nice week, speak soon.

Jeanne Sutton