Procrastination contains multitudes.
Procrastination is: breaking promises to the self, proving correct the saying ‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’, feeling guilty for not climate striking, sort of already striking, cleaning your desktop and wondering if that screenshot is funny or Roy Cohn levels of crossed-a-line, being hard on yourself, not being hard on yourself, blaming capitalism, blaming the socialisation of females in the 1990s and the have it all narrative, texting a friend and asking was Lean In our gender’s 12 Rules For Life, wondering if you should look up the women you know who read Lean In on LinkedIn but then making a mental column of ‘reminding her I exist might upset her’ and ‘reminding her I exist might make her smug’, remembering the instance of someone leaning in so much they did a freelancer out of regular work.
Procrastination is: telling yourself that habit is what gets people killed in thrillers and The Americans, remember a headline along the lines of ‘Procrastination Is Literally Killing You’, installing a block site extension on Chrome because for some reason a deadline makes you really into Etsy and work/life interviews with women who are members of their local The Wing, long showers, hair conditioning treatments, soaking your feet in ‘good acid’ laced socks, soaking your feet in lavender-infused salts, covering your feet with Uggs in humid weather so you can’t think of further things to do with your feet.
Procrastination is: watching two series of the US version of The Killing in a week and wondering how True Detective is pushed as the cream on top of obsessive character-driven detective shows which evoke a sense of place and then remembering sexism exists and the scene in True Detective where the much younger actress asks the older man for anal sex, discovering that Nic Pizzolatto’s next script is going to be directed by Ben Affleck, having a laugh, watching season 3 of The Killing and then realising maybe completing some chores-with-deadlines is better for your mental and sleep health than watching teenage sex workers being murdered and let down by society, adding a reminder to an online to-do list app to catch up on WHAT UP LINDEN and filthy ride Holder at a later date.
Procrastination is: a symptom, a response, sometimes not the worst, sometimes the worst, overall forgivable.
Normal programming has resumed. My dissertation has been submitted. My stitches have dissolved into my body. September was a drag. I hated it. Thank you for not unsubscribing. Thank you for signing up. If you are interested in reading some of my fiction, I have a short story in the latest Banshee, an Irish literary journal. You can pre-order the journal here. The story, Functioning, is my fictional debut. Technically, you will be securing a piece of history. Maybe it will be the type of history that comes with footnotes or be forgotten, who knows. There will be a launch of the issue in October, so it’s the type of history-making that comes with a glass of free wine.