What is actually a deal breaker?
Even on planes with no phone signal, memes haunt me.
Event heads-up: I’m part of the panel at this Banter event discussing 2018. It’s a year in review type thing and coincides with the middle of my Saturn Return. Weird year! Tickets are €5/6 and proceeds go to Threshold, a housing charity.
Remember that meme? Or was it a tweet? Maybe both. ‘When you fall in love with someone, but then find out they clap when the Ryanair plane lands.’ A deal breaker. Ryanair aside - yes, I understand their pricing made travel possible for a whole new swathe of classes, but I will always think Tony Ryan was a monumental prick - but is the clapping thing really that bad? When you think about man-made flight, how hundreds of people are in the sky thanks to an engine, it’s pretty scary. It’s cool to not land in the ocean.
I don’t think I’ve ever clapped, but I was on a charter plane to Lourdes once with a diocesan crowd and the rosary did take place. (Speaking of dioceses and desires for safety, did you know in Ireland they all have “access to sea, river or lake as an escape route”?)
A few weeks ago, someone told me about their anxiety and how they fear for loved ones lives when they walk out the door. I was in London last weekend and forgot to send my usual trio of ‘love you’ texts as I sat on the runway. They’re a just in case. Preemptive possible contrition. You never know.
Some people think I’m overly negative, a real stick. I catastrophize. Worst case scenario spidergrams are my visual metronome. John le Carré’s The Little Drummer Girl is ready to roll on my Kindle, but I’m not sure that’ll be a healthy dive.
On the flight back from London, which was delayed, the woman in the seat in front of me reclined. And that got me upset about people discounting love for the clappers. Imagine falling in love with someone, and then you find out they recline the seat on a flight from London to Dublin. The dog in a manger of it all.
Make that your deal breaker, alongside:
Not cleaning up your tray in McDonald’s. (Always have an early stage relationship date in McDonald’s. Think of it as a spin on the Jesuits finishing school quote - his behaviour will show you the man.)
Claiming Irish presidential candidate Peter Casey spoke to middle class overdraft and mortgage payment fatigue, as opposed to people who hate other people.
Thinking that the man who only eats beef is remotely acceptable. I don’t know anything about that mad fucker beyond the beef thing and I don’t want to know anything else.